Saturday, January 31, 2009

Thank you

Dear Jessica Simpson, 
Thank you for not freaking out when everyone else... well, freaked out. Thank you for not being a waif. Thank you for not flying away whenever you or someone near you sneezes. Thank you for that cute belt. (My eyes loved it and my heart leapt for joy.) Thank you for your normal body. And thank you for, at least not yet, going on a crazy diet so you can "feel better about yourself and be healthier." Jennifer Love Hewitt tried that, but we all saw right through it. 

I understand--it's fun to be thin. It's cool to snap on a size 4 without rolls or suffocation. (I'm sure a 0 would be fun, too, but I look trashy when I'm that thin.) But, to me, it's more fun to eat Greek pasta salad and pizza (both of which are currently beside me. Well, were beside me.) They are delicious and I hate to be hungry. 

So, please, Jess (may I call you that?). I'm begging you. Please stay strong. Don't let this get to you. It's not a big deal; I was really mad when it was all over the internet. If you do become a little upset, because sometimes it is hard to deal with criticism, just come visit me. Athens needs a little JSimp. No, no, it'll be GREAT. We can run 1/2 a mile, then come back to my place and eat chili, sandwiches, chicken, then go to the Ben and Jerry's store! We can laugh and sing karaoke at the Japanese restaurant. 

It would be so fun and so good for our souls. 

(Let me know if you're up to it.)


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