VBS is not for the faint of heart

After Mallory left for Honduras, I've been more conscious of my decisions. I've tried to not waste time and I've been attempting to listen more than I talk (it's harder than I thought!).

Sunday kicked off VBS at my church and I'm teaching Pre-K. This is a HUGE test of patience and love. Tonight is the 3rd night, but Sunday we had 13 kids and yesterday we had 15. Fifteen five-year-olds is A LOT, especially when our schedules were so messed up.

Mom and I were really bummed that we were getting so many directions that we couldn't do anything, so the kids missed both music AND crafts. I could tell she was becoming flustered and she could tell I felt like I was in over my head (I can deal with groups only if they involve people who are ages 10 and up. Give me 100 teenagers, and I'm okay. Give me 25 high school sophomores and I will show you a great time. Children, however, are a WHOLE different ballgame). But we both prayed to ourselves and God really came through (as did one kid's grandfather. There was no dealing with that one).

I felt especially guilty when I was pushing Kylie's wheelchair. Kylie is a 5 year old girl who was diagnosed with bone cancer in her femur in October. She's had so many rounds of chemotherapy and even had to have her femur replaced with a steel rod last month. Even after everything she's been through, she was the sweetest kid there. She listened to the stories, she didn't talk out of turn, and she still had fun and laughed and smiled. We were coloring while the other kids were on the playground and I taught her some French words. Her favorite, as is everyone's, was "bleu." It's just so much fun to say! But how on earth can I complain about bruises on my shins and how exhausted I am when sweet Kylie is looking at me and laughing with me? I have no reason to complain or worry. "Consider the sparrows," right?

We're learning about the underground church this week. We emptied out two Sunday school rooms: one for a prison cell where Paul and Brutus the Roman guard stay (Brutus lets us visit Paul for a little bit everyday. He's not really a bad guy deep down) and another for a "cave" so Christians who want to worship can do so without being caught. I know it's meant for children, but SEEING it, even on such a small scale really helped me to understand how MUCH Christians went through just to praise God. Every year, we hear stories about missionaries in other countries and how they have to worship in secret, too. I don't think we get it sometimes. I know I've never appreciated how much they put on the line just to praise God. It makes me feel incredibly guilty for sometimes oversleeping on Sundays.

I love working with children, though. They teach me so many things, both spiritually and artistically. One of the girls kept talking about sunflowers, so I think I'll try to make my sister a sunflower jumper!

Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! --James 3:3-5

Thank you

Dear Jessica Simpson, 

Thank you for not freaking out when everyone else... well, freaked out. Thank you for not being a waif. Thank you for not flying away whenever you or someone near you sneezes. Thank you for that cute belt. (My eyes loved it and my heart leapt for joy.) Thank you for your normal body. And thank you for, at least not yet, going on a crazy diet so you can "feel better about yourself and be healthier." Jennifer Love Hewitt tried that, but we all saw right through it. 

I understand--it's fun to be thin. It's cool to snap on a size 4 without rolls or suffocation. (I'm sure a 0 would be fun, too, but I look trashy when I'm that thin.) But, to me, it's more fun to eat Greek pasta salad and pizza (both of which are currently beside me. Well, were beside me.) They are delicious and I hate to be hungry. 

So, please, Jess (may I call you that?). I'm begging you. Please stay strong. Don't let this get to you. It's not a big deal; I was really mad when it was all over the internet. If you do become a little upset, because sometimes it is hard to deal with criticism, just come visit me. Athens needs a little JSimp. No, no, it'll be GREAT. We can run 1/2 a mile, then come back to my place and eat chili, sandwiches, chicken, then go to the Ben and Jerry's store! We can laugh and sing karaoke at the Japanese restaurant. 

It would be so fun and so good for our souls. 

(Let me know if you're up to it.)

Love,

Nikki

Day 7

I am thankful for unusual things. I am thankful for creativity and people who are strong enough to do their own thing, but aren't pretentious about it. I'm thankful for new ideas or old ideas used in new ways. I'm thankful for splashes of color in a gray and brown world.

I'm thankful that everyone's different, no matter how much we try to assimilate ourselves with cultural norms and fads. 

I am thankful that I stumble upon things that change my outlook on life and myself. 

I am thankful for ice cream in 12 degree weather and the memories of a fun trip.

Seven days of being thankful for small things has really put things in perspective for me.  I've really enjoyed looking for small things to be thankful for. It made me realize that I have A LOT of great things going for me; the stuff on here was only a small portion of what I've noticed over the past week. With all these small and large things, the bad things pale in comparison. The cold weather couldn't touch the way my soul was warmed by the sight of the sun between the buildings and trees or four new friends eating Thai on a Thursday night. 

I also cleaned out my car, which really helps my mood. 

Thank you, God, for opening my eyes. Help me keep them open. Help me love unconditionally and help me be more tolerant. Help me love myself, because it's hard to love others when you hold so much resentment against yourself. Help me serve, and help me with you-know-what. I'd really like that to happen.

Day 6

Today, as an "arctic express" rushed through Georgia, I am thankful for clothes. Scarves, earmuffs, mittens, hates, North Face jackets, pea coats, socks. Thermal underwear has been my best friend this week. I love cold weather, but this week has been strange. 

I am thankful that I am able to have warm clothes and that I've always had warm clothes. 

I thought of that when I walked from the bus stop to the Student Learning Center. It was probably 1000 feet, but the wind was bone-chilling. 

It was a really good day, today, though.

Green tea, potential presents, chocolate chip cupcakes, and one of the best soundtracks of all time make me forget about how harsh the temperatures are. 

Day 5

I am thankful for sushi, French class, and The Office.

There's nothing profound about these things, but I am glad that they're in my life.

Sushi makes me feel mature, French class broadens my mind, and The Office makes me laugh every time. 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4

Day 4

I am thankful for order, control, traditions, and friends.

Every Wednesday, we all get together to watch Project Runway or Top Chef or whatever is on TV and talk and eat during the commercials. 

Sometimes, we do good things, too.

Like making Valentine's Day cards for charities (Some of us are more creative than others.)

I like to be spontaneous, but sometimes, it is nice to have something that you know will be constant. Like Wednesday night TV or Saturday morning brunch or study sessions eight hours before a test. I am thankful that my life is stable. 

Day 3

I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve.

I will serve by leading or serve by serving. I will serve by leading an example and I will serve with all my abilities.

If your gift is serving, devote yourself to serving others. If it is teaching, devote yourself to teaching others.

Romans 12:7

I will stop looking for thanks and I will stop feeling resentful when I don't get a "thank you."

Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in Heaven. When you give to someone in need, don't do as the hypocrites do--blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

Matthew 6:1-4

I will give as much as I can, as often as I can. 

I'm thankful for my health. I read Kylie's page every day, and it's hard to believe that a girl who lives in my town and is younger than my sister was diagnosed with bone cancer. I sit here, lazily, avoiding my homework, and I know that my family is safe, even though they're 70 miles away. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to any one of them. I'm thankful for their health, too. I really couldn't get through the day if I knew that something was wrong with them, or, worse yet, if something happened to one of them. 

I'm thankful that God always seems to have a hand in my life. Even in small things that most people call "chance" or "luck," I see God looking out for me. 

That's a good thought.

Day 2

Today, I am thankful for my family. I don't seem to appreciate them as much as they deserve. They really have been too good to me. And I know without a doubt that our vacation would NOT have been the same without tiny Hanna here. I would not have made the world's tiniest snowball, nor would I have made a "snow angel" (actually read "snow mixed with dirt angel" seeing as there was only an inch of snow on the ground!) for the first time in 7 years. I wouldn't smile as much, either, because every time I talk to her, she says something funny.

I am also thankful for music. Not just any music, because, let's be honest, some of it stinks (see: The Fray, Nick Carter solo).

I'm thankful that some people can play the piano. I am thankful that I can read music and can at least play the melody of a song. I'm thankful that some people can play other instruments, like the euphonium, the flute, and the guitar. 

But more than anything, I am thankful for the emotions that the song "Zero Percent" by Jason Mraz evokes. Every time I hear it, I feel ecstatic, content, excitement, giddy, and even a bit sad and overwhelmed. I hope I never become callous to this song.

Zero Percent- Jason Mraz

Well our friends on the front porch, well they're telling jokes

And they swing swiftly towards them happier times.

They're expending a line and finding more energy for the effort

And getting distance from that front porch spotlight.

But, us, we found peace in the shadows

Long enough to see the monsters rise.

Candy's got some space to fill in her daydream

Living high on yesterday's lies

Talking to me about some zero percent interest

And how she got a better deal than the next guy.

Oh my God, and the way the lightning shocked us

When we were lost and we were looking down that long deserted highway

Your hair was longer then and now I can remember

See now I remember oh, so well.

Oh, the roads encumbered by cats

They're burning like wet matches

Through my miracle mile mind

You left your thumbprint inside me now for months it seems

But mine only brushes your soft surface

And somehow,

Somehow it leaves me listless

My tongue curls under my lips, oh, oh, yes.

So I can't speak to tell you of the months before I met you

And the way the truth it locked us, oh,

Right 'bout the time after the lightning shocked us

I'll say it again.

When we were young, when we were young and missing

'Round that small New England byway

Our lives they were sheltered then and now I can remember

See now well I remember, oh, so well, almost too well

Well, it's not even being about that anymore

I gotta get you down tonight.

Those tiny fragments of perfection

They please me in a time unchanged

When it's not the same beginning

Or a long-awaited end.

If I knew all the words, 

I would write myself out of here.

If I was all the colors 

I would paint you pretty in gold

In a picture, so I'm told, little sister.

So now I'm sold, little sister

Why don't you tell me all about the sunsets in Sweden

And the laws of Eden

And how you were the rock of Gibraltar

And how they called you "foxy."

Well, that's another whole box of Pandora's,

That's another whole box of them ties.

Slide your foot off the gas

Before we crash

Right back into the median, Lord.

It separates our house

From the middle of the street.

Mi casa, en el medio de la calle. 

Our house.

It's on the front porch where we're telling the jokes and swinging oh, so swiftly toward those happier times.

They're expending all those lines and finding more energy for the effort and getting distance from that front porch spotlight. 

But us, we found some peace in the all of them shadows, oh, long enough to see that monster die, oh long enough to see the monster die. 

Is it long enough? Is it long enough for me?

Oh, my. If it isn't, and if it isn't, and it ain't, and if it don't. If it can't, then it won't. 

And that's just the way that it goes, over and over again.

That's just the way things go.

Day One

Today, I am thankful for 

• Going to the University of Georgia, one of the few colleges with green spaces; I love the way the campus looks when the sun is rising
• When the clouds ACTUALLY look like sheep.
  
• Country music when I'm driving
• Rock when it's raining
• Rap on good days
• Pop on bad
• Jazz when I'm cooking
• Bluegrass when country gets old
• The 366th day
• Red hair.